Machismo

Growing up in Santa Fe, N.M. I was exposed very heavily to the “machismo” type of masculinity. A man is defined by how many fights he has been in, how many girls he has slept with, and how much liquor he can consume. This is handed down from father to son, generation after generation. I can’t count how many times growing up that I watched my dad either getting drunk or getting into street fights.

As a matter of fact, one time when he found out that a neighbor kid was picking on me, and I had done nothing about it, he drove me over to his house and forced me to fight him. My dad was as tough as they come. When he was only 16, he wrecked my grandpa’s car, and rather than face the beating he knew was coming, he pushed the car into the driveway and walked to California with only a dollar in his pocket.

What It Meant To Be a Man

The sad thing is this is how he would lead our family as well. Our home was filled with violence and alcohol abuse. I simply thought that this was what it meant to be a man. Therefore, this is what I was aiming for. My father had taught me well, and I was well on my way to walking in his footsteps. But little did I know that God in his grace was calling my father. He would teach him what it really means to be a man. It would be radically different from what he had learned, and what he had taught me.

As my father began to walk with Jesus, I saw him do things that he had never done. These are things that I was taught that real men were never to do. I’ll never forget the first time I saw my dad reading a bible, or the first time I saw him cry, or the first time I saw him actually avoid a fight. It blew me away. I had no neat little box to put this in. I knew that this had to be God working in my father’s life.

I had no neat little box to put this in. I knew that this had to be God working in my father’s life.

Respect and Confession

This began to teach me that there was more to being a man than I was taught. The violent and proud man I once knew was gone, and in his place was a humble and gentle man. A man who still commanded respect, but not through fear. It came through friendship.

I’ll never forget the day my dad came to me and confessed his sins against our family and me. He admitted he was wrong in so many areas of his life, and that by God’s grace he would be a better example of what a man truly is. He didn’t only do this with me, but also with so many people he had wronged throughout his life. It was in that moment I learned one of the most important things about being a man.

Real Men Repent

The bible says in Proverbs 28:13, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” My father taught me the meaning of true repentance. Through this lesson I was able to win the biggest battle I had ever been in. My entire life I battled sin, and I always came up on the losing end. When I placed my faith in Jesus Christ and through the repentance of my sins, I received the mercy of God and acceptance as his son.

Jesus now becomes for me the ultimate example of what it truly means to be a man.

Jesus gave me the victory over sin that I could never have experienced on my own. Meaning that sin became for me something I do, instead of something I am. And when I do sin, I can confess and repent of my sin, and God will be faithful and forgive and cleanse me from all my unrighteousness.

Jesus now becomes for me the ultimate example of what it truly means to be a man. By God’s grace I live to his glory daily in my life and plan to pass this on to my son behind me.