Category: Forgiveness
Mercy gone wild… is that a good thing?
Over the past few years I’ve heard a lot of confusion going around about the terms “grace” and “mercy.” Oh, people don’t say they are confused, but you can hear it in the things they say (and I’m guilty of it too).
One of the most common examples goes like this: ”I think you should extend grace to him.” TRANSLATION: “Go easy on him. Let him off the hook.” But that’s not grace, that’s mercy. If that’s what we mean, we should say, “I think you should be merciful to him.” And if that’s what we mean, why do we think it’s “right” to give mercy, especially if a real wrong has been done?
Part of it has to do with our culture. Culturally, we’ve slipped over the precipice of “tolerance” to such a degree that people aren’t willing to say that much of anything is “wrong” or “right.” Adultery has become an “affair.” Sin has become “mistakes.” We’ve gutted our thinking of any real conviction, any lasting moral foundation. As a result, we all feel like the “right” thing to do is to be merciful.
But mercy left to itself makes a mockery of justice. Tell a mother whose child has been abducted, raped, and murdered that she is to “be merciful” to her child’s killer and see how that works out for you. You may be the next murder victim. Why? Because something in that mom tells her, justice should be done.
Let’s carry that out as it relates to God. If God were only merciful (not giving us what we deserve), He’d be nothing but a heavenly softy, and all of us errant “children” (from you to Hitler) would be getting off the hook scott free. Nothing would ever be corrected, justice would never be done. All the sin throughout all of history would be swept under the rug and eternally ignored. Everyone gets amnesty. There is never any “reckoning.” In my thinking, that would be “mercy gone wild,” and it wouldn’t be good.
You might feel the revulsion that idea provokes right now. Wrong needs to be made right, or at least clearly labeled AS wrong and punished as such. Heinous things as child abuse, extortion, kidnapping, genocide, and rape should never go unanswered. Neither should what we might consider “lesser” sins – lying, gossip, manipulation, selfishness, lust. The reason you and I instinctively feel that way is because we are made in God’s image, and God is just. He must make the wrong right. He must call the guilty to account.
That means that all of us deserve His judgment. We have sinned. We are guilty… and justice must be done. There is no way around it… EXCEPT for God’s grace. His grace makes a way when there is no way. Not by practicing mercy gone wild, but by giving to us when we don’t deserve it. In Jesus, God gave us a substitute, to take our place beneath the fiery and punitive gaze of His holy judgment. That is what the cross was all about. Jesus took our punishment, so we don’t have to be punished. God gave us grace, so that we could receive mercy, without doing any violence to His just nature.
When we understand the relationship between grace and mercy, we see the giving nature of God more clearly; we see the great lengths to which He has gone to make a way for us to be forgiven for our sins; we see the miraculous gift it is that He’s done even more in giving us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live above sin’s domination. And when we see all of that, we can revel in the grace of God that brings us the mercy of God.
So here’s how I think of it:
Grace gives – mercy withholds
- Grace is God giving to us who don’t deserve it
- Mercy is God withholding the wrath our sins do deserve
- Grace is God giving us a means of forgiveness in Christ
- Mercy is God withholding condemnation
- Grace helps us to obey God, it is empowering
- Mercy refrains from punishing us because we don’t obey God
- Grace is receiving something you don’t deserve
- Mercy is not getting what you do deserve
Join the conversation: How do YOU see grace & mercy being different?
Books from the PF Journal..
God’s “social proof”
My lopsided upbringing
The religious tradition I grew up in was a contradiction at best.
original photo: wikimedia commons
On one side of the pendulum, sermons were typically all about the grace of God that saves sinners. It’s glorious news, to be sure – and for my church it seemed like the only news. ”Soul winning” was huge… and everyone was, ummm, “expected” to be a soul-winner. I attended the same church for my first 18 years, and don’t remember ever hearing a sermon about the importance of prayer, how to biblically deal with conflict, how to live in a healthy Christian marriage, or the reality of “Christ in me.” It was all the grace of God, that saves sinners through faith. Wonderful – for as far as it went.
On the other side of the pendulum, things weren’t so wonderful, because there wasn’t much talk about grace once you moved beyond the topic of salvation. Then it became the infamous lists – women can’t wear pants, nobody should attend movies, alcohol is evil and should never be touched, and smoking will not only give you cancer but could also cause God to hold you at arm’s length. Even as a kid something about that attitude smelled… I mean, beyond the nicotine smell on the music minister’s fingers and breath.
In short, though my church majored on grace for salvation, it was not one that most people would say was characterized by grace regarding the Christian life.
An extreme reaction
From what I’ve observed since then, I wasn’t the only one who was raised in that kind of religious culture. Many people saw the error of such “legalism” and began looking for something more, something different, something a little less… well… legal. As a result, the overall Christian culture reacted quite strongly to those imbalances. Instead of making everything into a list of do’s and don’t's, Christian leaders began talking almost exclusively about “being under grace” and not “under law.” Biblical terms, to be sure – and powerful concepts when understood and applied rightly. But the meaning poured into those phrases over time became as imbalanced and dangerous as the mindset it was trying to correct.
When lovingly confronted about potentially unwise or ungodly choices in movies, or music, or speech, or (fill in the blank), Christians could routinely be heard to say, ”Oh, but I’m under grace!” Or another common one, “I am free in Christ.”
TRANSLATION: “My actions don’t really matter, because I’m forgiven by God’s grace.”
or with a little more tongue in cheek:
“I’m free of any obligation toward obedience, because God’s given me a ‘get out of sin free’ card.
What’s wrong with this picture
To be clear:
- Yes, we are forgiven (past, present, & future) by the grace of God, through faith in Christ.
- Yes, it’s a wonderful thing, and we should wallow in it like a pig in a mud-bath, until grace soaks into the pores of our souls.
- But it doesn’t mean that we are to think, act, speak, or do anything we want, and think that it’s O.K.
Sin still matters.
Obedience still matters.
The holiness of God, expressed through the imputed righteousness and indwelling Spirit of Christ still matters.
The reason we are still alive
God saves us, entirely by His grace. We do nothing to deserve it, and nothing to keep it. That’s all Him.
But that wonderful, matchless grace of Jesus is not impotent. It has an effect (outcome), because it affects our inner being. When Jesus saves us by His grace, we are made into something we weren’t before – saints. We are literally, not figuratively, temples for the divine Person of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19).
He lives in us. He desires to live through us. Ponder that colossal truth for a while… and your mind will go “tilt!”
You – Mr. or Miss “saved-by-grace-Christian,” are still on the planet to be a testimony, a proof, a witness to the saving grace of God. You are here to give Him glory by your new life that He has given to you. To use a modern phrase from the online world, your changed life is God’s “social proof.” As others see Him making changes in you, from your attitudes to your actions, they begin to believe that there just might be something to this “Christian” thing.
You are not very effective “social proof” for God when you live by an “I’m free to do what I want” attitude – because your life says that God is impotent, and Jesus came into your life to no avail.
Here’s a challenge for you, and for me: Daily strive to submit your entire mind, will, and emotion (your soul), to Jesus’ use and leadership.
- That means sin does matter… because it is a contradiction to who Jesus has created us to be (Ephesians 2:8-10).
- That means that obedience does matter… because Spirit-empowered obedience demonstrates that God’s grace to us was not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:10)
QUESTION: How have YOU seen the word “grace” misused or misapplied? What difference do you see that making?
Books from the PF Journal..
Jesus is NOT a therapist
I’m on sabbatical (translation: I’m resting),
so this is a pre-scheduled post for your encouragement, education and enjoyment!
I really enjoy the teaching ministry of Mark Driscoll. He’s one of those guys who will simply say it like it is, and let the chips fall…
Anyway… here’s a clip from one of his sermons from the book of Luke – a GREAT point for our day!
Christian myth #24 – God hates the sin but loves the sinner
I’m on sabbatical (translation: I’m resting). So this is a
pre-scheduled post for your edification!
Yes, I know. The title of the post is provocative. Intentionally so. Yes… I know it is.
Why would I imply that God hates sinners?
Because the Bible says He does.
If you want to know what I mean… David Platt says it better than anyone…
But if you’re gonna’ watch this… take the time to watch the entire thing – so you don’t misunderstand!
A very embarrassing moment… I’m glad it was private!
As part of my preparation for my upcoming Sunday message, I took some time to look through some older stuff I had prepared on the same topic. As part of that, I just finished listening to a sermon I preached in 2006.
EMBARRASSING…
…not because the delivery was especially bad, but because the theology was. Man, that’s the worst kind of embarrassing. To quote Tigger, I got it “all twisty-taled around!”
It makes me shudder to think that at any given time in my life, I could, with the greatest conviction and certainty, say or write something absolutely wrong – and be confident it is right.
“Oh God… help me to humbly speak Your truth… and only Your truth. I ask You to cover even my preaching with the precious, forgiving blood of Your Son, Jesus”
NO – you cannot have a copy of the sermon… it will self-destruct in 10 seconds…
What A Difference A Day Makes! – Easter Sermon On-line
You can find, “What A Difference A Day Makes!” our Easter sermon audio by hovering your mouse HERE
Is Jesus REALLY the Only Way? – Sermon Audio
If you would like to listen to sermon audio for the sermon “Is Jesus REALLY the Only Way?” then you can find it by hovering your mouse HERE
Lost and Found – sermon on-line (Prodigal Son)
You can find audio for the sermon “Lost and Found” (Luke chapter 15 – the parable of the prodigal son) by the following link… (click to download, hover to play immediately)
Repentance & Forgiveness – some common objections
My first post on this subject discussed what I see as the Biblical pattern for forgiveness – forgiveness is to be given after repentance is offered. I quickly covered how we can see this pattern in the Levitical law of the sacrifices, in the way God forgives us, and in the way Jesus instructs us to forgive others.
This is a very difficult concept for many to grasp, because our culture, over the last how-many-ever years has taught us WRONGLY that forgiveness means that we just “overlook the offense and get over it.” And the church has bought the lie – telling believers that this is the “Christian” way to respond to offenses. But my contention is that such an idea is not only wrong, but unBiblical and damaging to the church.
I’d like to spend this post responding to some common objections to what the Bible REALLY teaches about forgiveness…
OBJECTION: But Jesus taught us to pray, “forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us.” Doesn’t that tell us that our forgiveness before God is dependent on our forgiveness of others? If we do not forgive, as you suggest, aren’t we putting our souls in danger?
RESPONSE: You are right in saying that there is some way in which our willingness to forgive others demonstrates whether we truly understand and therefore are able to receive our own forgiveness from the Father. But look closely at the verses in question (Matthew 6:9-15). Nowhere do those verses DEFINE what forgiveness is… it’s assumed that we know what it means, and that’s my main point – OUR MODERN CULTURE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT FORGIVENESS MEANS! We have to abandon our ideas of what it is and go to the scriptures for that definition!
Nowhere does the Bible even infer that forgiveness means “overlooking the sins of others.” Even God, the One with more mercy than anyone else, does not forgive by overlooking sins! He can’t because of His just nature - justice must be done, and to overlook a wrong would be an injustice!
So what DOES it mean when we pray that God will forgive us, as we forgive others? It means that we are asking God to forgive us WHEN WE REPENT (1 John 1:9, Psalm 7:12, Mark 1:4, Luke 13:3, Acts 3:19, 2 Corinthians 7:10, 2 Peter 3:9 ) as we forgive others when THEY repent! (the parable found in Matthew 18:21-35 is especially helpful here… notice that the forgiven servant was forgiven his debt to his Master WHEN HE REPENTED, but would not do the same for his fellow servant who also repented – THAT hypocrisy was what angered the Master). What Jesus is speaking to in the Matthew 6:9-15 passage is the very human tendency to hold a grudge even when a person is repentant! To say, “No, I can NEVER forgive you… even though you say you are sorry!” THAT is the hypocrisy of denying others the same mercy God has given to you, and the exact kind of unforgiveness Jesus is addressing.
OBJECTION: Jesus died “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8), so we should forgive just as He did.
RESPONSE: Yes, absolutely! Jesus died for us while we were still in our sinful condition. But He did not FORGIVE US of those sins until we turned to Him in repentance. If we imply by Romans 5:8 that Jesus automatically forgives us without our response of repentance, then we are saying that when Jesus died for the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2, 1 Timothy 4:10), He forgave the sins of the world at that moment also. That is much more akin to Universalism than it is Christianity. As Romans 5:8 clearly teaches, Jesus’ death “while we were still sinners” shows His love for us, by providing the only appropriate sacrifice FOR our sins – thereby opening the way to forgiveness which the Father is eager to give to the repentant soul.
OBJECTION: What if the person who has sinned against us never repents or is unable to repent (dead, or in a coma, etc.)? Then are we just stuck with it? How can we ever be free of it if we don’t “forgive” (overlook the offense)? RELATED OBJECTION: Aren’t you acting as Judge in the situation if you refuse to “forgive” (overlook the offense)?
RESPONSE: This objection misunderstands what we ARE to do with offenses against us when a person is unrepentant.
There is no way in which we are “stuck with” the offense and the pain of it, etc. when we follow the example of Jesus in the way HE handed the sinful behavior leveled at Him. 1 Peter 1:21-24 teaches us that Jesus is our perfect example of what to do when we are treated wrongly. There are 3 simple (not always easy, but simple) steps that Peter outlines:
- Do not respond in kind (i.e. insult for insult or injury for injury)
- Entrust yourself (and the offense) to God, who judges justly.
- Trust in the healing Jesus has provided through His own suffering and death on your behalf.
What is actually happening when we apply Peter’s instruction? First, we are not allowing a fleshly or self-absorbed retaliation to the injury or sin. In other words, we are being careful to be angry (at the sin, as God is because wrong has been done… in fact, God will pour out His WRATH on sin eventually – Revelation 19:15), without sinning (Ephesians 4:26). For the sake of clarity, let me say it again without the parentheses - The first thing we are doing by not retaliating is to be careful that our righteous anger over the offense does not manifest itself in our own equally sinful response.
The second thing we are doing is giving ourselves and our welfare in the offensive situation to God, the One Who will judge justly. This, like our initial faith in Christ, is an act of trust. We are trusting that God will take this, He will handle it rightly, and we no longer have reason or need to hold on to or harbor the offense. It is in God’s heavenly courtroom now, where He serves as Judge – and we have nothing more to do with it.
OBJECTION: When we refuse to “forgive” (overlook the offense) aren’t we allowing the sinner to control us and therefore losing our freedom in Christ?
RESPONSE: If we are following the pattern Peter lays out for us (1 Peter 1:21-24) as described in the previous response – then we are trusting God to be in control – of the situation and of us as His children. We are actually moving INTO the freedom Christ provides for us by releasing the offense to the righteous judgement of God and walking in personal victory over the feelings of hurt and offense. Only Christ can provide that, and He does it only through the cross.
FINAL THOUGHTS: A wrong view of forgiveness that flows out of our own disobedience?
I know this way of thinking about forgiveness is stripping the gears of many of you. But that’s what happens when we approach issues Biblically instead of how we’ve been taught to view them culturally. Our conditioned way of thinking that is unBiblical is challenged and tweaked by what the scriptures really say. Since the gears are already stripped, I might as well throw in one more related issue…
Our “waiting” for repentance from an offending person should not be done in a non-chalant, unconcerned way. In fact, we should be pursuing their repentance. Most have not noticed that the parable of the unforgiving/unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35), which defines forgiveness, comes IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING Jesus’ instruction that we are to go to each other to work out conflict and offenses (read the whole passage here).
Could it be that we’ve defaulted to a definition of forgiveness that means “overlook the offense” because we are so fearful of conflict that we are being willingly disobedient to Jesus’ commands to go to those who offend us? After all, it’s easier, causes less turmoil, and looks so “nice” and “Christian” (as we’ve come to define it). But it’s not Biblical. Not in the least.
There’s no arguing, going to someone who has offended you IS a mess much of the time – Christian or not. So why would Jesus instruct is to do something that has the potential of blowing up in our faces? Why? – Out of love for each of us individually and out of love for us corporately as His church! When we refuse to approach an offense, we are in large part closing the door to the possibility of the offending person’s repentance – which is the very best thing for them! Through the loving confrontation they have the chance to become aware of a sin in their life, and as a result have the opportunity to confess it and be forgiven and cleansed from it (1 John 1:9). And the person being obedient to carry out the loving confrontation, may just find that THEY were not seeing everything completely clearly and then have the opportunity to confess THEIR OWN sins in the situation. That is SUCH a loving thing, and a great benefit and sign of health for the church overall! And should the person initially confronted refuse to repent, then the opportunity is open to follow Jesus’ instruction about church discipline, which opens new doors to the restoration of the sinner and the overall purity of the church!
Like it or not – our view of forgiveness carries HUGE ramifications for the health of the church, Christ’s body and bride. A wrong view will short-circuit Jesus’ intention for our purity and holiness. A right view will only strengthen it.
Repentance & Forgiveness (like Peanut Butter & Jelly)
They go together. That’s the main point. Biblically, forgiveness can’t happen without repentance. They are intimately linked. Repentance means to change your mind about the issue – to think differently about it – to change course. And those who sin against us need to have a change of mind about their sin before we are able to forgive them.
But that’s SO backwards from what our culture promotes. We’re told to “just forgive” about everything that happens in life (meaning, “Don’t be upset about it – let it go!”), when the Bible doesn’t characterize it that way at all. I’m not saying we should hold grudges or harbor bitterness – we shouldn’t. But we can’t forgive, as it is defined Biblically, if the one who sinned against us has not repented.
Jesus says so Himself in Luke 17:3-4 – “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.“ When should we forgive? When repentance is offered.
In reading the book of Leviticus today (through the Bible in a year plan) I noticed this same point. Every time a person recognized their sin (deliberate or accidental) they were told to make a sacrifice for it. Then and only then were they forgiven. The sacrifice was the act that SHOWED their repentance.
It’s even more obvious when it comes to eternal forgiveness. The Father does not forgive on a whim… He forgives when we are faced with the price Jesus paid for our sins and repent.
What would it be like if the Father said, “Oh, don’t worry about all those sins – I’ll just forgive you!” He wouldn’t be acting in accordance with His own holiness. He’d be overlooking sin instead of punishing it – which means that He’s not being just, and ultimately that Jesus’ death is meaningless and unnecessary!
You see, Jesus became our substitute on the cross SO THAT the Father could grant forgiveness to those who repent by placing their faith in Christ! Jesus took the punishment that we/our sins deserved – and on that basis alone is the Father able to offer meaningful forgiveness. Not on the basis of our good works or penance (’cause they are not good enough), and not on the basis of a sentimental whim (i.e. because He feels sorry for us). God’s holy character requires sin to be punished, and it was punished in Christ. Therefore, forgiveness is available to all who come to the Father in repentance. There is no such thing as an unrepentant forgiven person!
Carry it out practically. If we were to do what our culture suggests when no genuine repentance is offered by the offender, we’d be overlooking sin and thereby saying that it doesn’t matter… that justice doesn’t matter. Imagine it – your son or daughter is abducted and brutally abused and murdered. Some well-meaning person says, “You are going to have to learn to forgive,” (meaning, “You can’t continue to be upset about this.”) That is ridiculous, because a very real and damaging sin has been committed, and justice demands that it be punished. We CAN’T “just forgive” in those terms. But here is what we CAN do… (and should do)
We can do what Peter instructs in 1 Peter 2:23 – we can take the offense to the Father, entrust it to Him as Jesus did when He was mistreated and reviled (the greatest sin ever committed), and allow the Father (the righteous Judge) to forgive – or not – as HE deems is best (which will flow out of the offender’s repentance or lack thereof). And we leave it there – believing and trusting that God will do what needs to be done in our lives and in the life of the offender.
“Let it go?” Absolutely – If you are letting it go to the Father. “Just forgive?” – only when repentance is offered. To do less is to minimize the seriousness of sin and the price Jesus paid to free us all from it.
You can find a follow-up to this post HERE
