Category: Life

5 Reasons you (and I) are unloving

Unloving.  Period.

I have to admit, to myself and to those who have to live with me… that I am often unloving.  (gasp!)  Any thinking person would have to admit the same is true in them, at least to some degree.  As I’ve pondered this fact, I’ve come up with at least 5 reasons why it is the case for me…

#1 – I am afraid of people.  - I don’t mean this as in “I’m afraid they will hurt me or treat me badly,” though I guess that could be the case for some.  For me it’s more in this way: “I’m afraid to interact with people because I’m not sure I’ll be up to the task.”  All people (including me) are broken and hurting, in need of love.  I don’t always feel up to the challenge of giving it to them as I know I should.  So ironically, the very fact that I’m not good at loving others often moves me to be even more unloving… by withdrawing from social contexts, avoiding certain people who I know are needy, or not taking initiative with others simply out of love and concern for them.  It may also manifest itself in me not engaging with others because I’m afraid of what they might think of me, or conclude about me.  All this shows me (again) that…

#2 – I am insecure. – This is really the bottom line of the previous point, but warrants a little more investigation.  Though I’ve been around the block enough times to know that there truly are areas and things that I’m gifted by God to do, I still feel uneasy when it comes to dealing with people.  I still feel this way even though I’ve seen the LORD use me in such relational contexts time and time again.  Loving others simply doesn’t come very naturally to me, and I let my feeling of discomfort with it get the best of me.  I know that some of this tension exists because of personality and gifting (which are what God has made them, and are therefore good), but the fact remains that I’m insecure.  I can’t help but feel that there’s a place in this where I’m not trusting God as I should…

#3 – I care more about things than I do people. – There are certain things I really enjoy doing and being involved in… and other things that I don’t – at all.  AS EXAMPLES:

  • I like organizing stuff and planning out things.
  • I like studying.
  • I like preparing sermons.
  • I like working on special projects.
  • I like writing.
  • I don’t like the messiness of relationships.
  • I don’t like the difficulty involved in good communication.
  • I don’t like feeling obligated toward others (though many times obligation is a good thing… as in “duty.”)
  • I don’t like dealing with people’s emotions (or my own for that matter).

DID YOU NOTICE… most of my “likes” have to do with things… most of my “dislikes” have to do with people?  Personal preferences may be signs of where I’m more gifted, which is good to know.  But when I allow my preferences to dictate where I spend my time, I’m moving toward the realization that…

#4 – I’m selfish. – No justifications.  No arguments.  Just an admission that it’s true.  I want what I want.  I want to do what I want to do. Way too much of the time I consider what I want before I consider what another may need.  For some reason I’ve become very good at making the needed self-sacrifices when it comes to my family.  But when it comes to those who are not as close to me I have a much harder time.  Is the fact that I love my family more than the generic “other person” the reason that I’m able to sacrifice unselfishly for them?  Probably.  So how am I to understand that?  I’ll probably always (and probably always should) love my family in greater ways than I do others.  How am I to love those others, who are not my family, in just as effective terms, even though the same kind or depth of love is not at the root of my actions?

# 5 – I am not very compassionate. – I am able to sympathize with those who are suffering or in need, honestly, I am.  I can put myself in their shoes most of the time, and feel at least some of what they feel.  But even though that’s true, I often think the plight of others’ pain does not touch me as deeply as it ought.  Maybe I don’t know enough of the facts of their situation.  Maybe I don’t put myself into their shoes enough.  Maybe I just don’t step away from my “to do” list long enough to let myself truly be moved with compassion.  I need to be more compassionate.  I need to care more about people.

Where to from here?

Sometimes this fact of my unloving-ness immobilizes me.  I feel stuck, unable to change it, and hopeless that there’s really anything that I can do to change it.  I don’t like feeling that way.  In fact, I hate it.

So where to?  What CAN I do?

Biblically, I only see one thing… to walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:18).  I must learn to step obediently into every work God has appointed for me to do (Ephesians 2:8-9) – whether I feel like it or not, whether I feel up to it or not, whether I believe it to be one of my strong suits or not.  As I do, He will produce His fruit in me and through me… the first of which is love (Galatians 5:22).

In the end, it’s not up to me to produce the fruit of love… it’s up to me to submit to the Spirit’s lead, which allows HIM to produce the fruit of love in me.

Am I proud, am I humble… or maybe I’m just drunk?

All my life I’ve been of the conviction that I should not be proud.  I mean in the self-promoting, bragging, come-across-as-a-know-it-all sort of way.  I don’t want to be that kind of person, and I don’t want to be seen as that kind of person.  I think that’s a good thing.

But as a result, I think I’ve fallen into a bad mental/emotional habit… I tend to downplay my strengths.

I downplay my strengths when talking to others, but I also downplay my strengths in my own mind and heart.  Because I don’t want to be proud, I don’t allow myself to fully acknowledge or accept the truths about how good the strengths the LORD has given to me really are… because it seems that in doing so I could be proud without knowing it.

I’m finding there is a very delicate balance between the valid concern about actually being proud, and the invalid over-concern about being proud.  It’s good to be cautious so that I can be aware of my own behavior and attitudes, thus avoiding pride.  But it’s devastating to be overly sensitive to the possibility of pride, and as a result hold myself back from making the most of the gifts the LORD has given to me, for His glory.

When I do this, I squander opportunities, underutilize the gifts God has given me, and do not lead others well.  In short, I’m not being a good steward, as I should be.

This passage is proving helpful:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. – Romans 12:3

I hear Paul (God) saying…

  • Yes Carey, be careful that you don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought.  Your gifts and abilities are given to you, things for you to steward for the LORD’s sake.  You did not make them, earn them, or in any way deserve them.  Stay humble.
  • But Carey, be careful also to think about yourself soberly.  Be fully alert to who God has made you to be (not like a drunk person).

That “soberly” part is what’s hitting me right now.  I’ve been around my share of drunk people, and most of the time there’s one of two “types” of drunks.

The crying drunk – because of their inebriation they see everything, especially themselves,
through the saddest, most depressing lenses possible.


The happy drunk – because of their inebriation they see everything, especially themselves, through the most optimistic, unrealistic lenses possible.

When it comes to thinking about myself, I’m to be neither of these.  I’m to be sober in my judgment.

If I have gifts, I am to not only acknowledge them, but acknowledge them for the good things they are.  I’m to be willing to say, if needed, “The LORD has enabled me to be good at (blank).”  I may especially need to say that to myself from time to time.  And I may need to work hard at moving out confidently in areas where I see that the gifts He’s given me are particularly suited for the task at hand… and not be afraid of seeming proud.

Some suggested reading on the topic… (affiliate links)

08546: Humility Humility
By Andrew Murray
523261: Humility:  True Greatness Humility: True Greatness
By C.J. Mahaney
280322: Great Lives: Elijah: A Man of Heroism and Humility Great Lives: Elijah: A Man of Heroism and Humility
By Charles Swindoll

What do you think?  Are you humble… proud… or just drunk?

Why you don’t change and don’t like to change

Change is hard.  It’s hard to handle, hard to bear, hard to think about, and hard to implement.

When change comes, it exposes our insecurities… and securities wrongly placed.

What I mean by that is this: change often reveals what is in the heart… the long-held motives and treasures that we’ve hoarded and arranged for the purpose of propping us up, protecting us from our fears, giving us a faint sense of “control.”  The Bible calls all such non-Christ-focused security “flesh.” (Romans 8, Galatians 5).  In short, flesh is anything in our history that we have arranged, constructed, or convinced ourselves of,  hat puts our faith in something other than Christ so that we can handle the burden and pain of life all on our own.  Change threatens our fleshly treasure that we’ve worked so hard to accumulate.  And few of us like it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re considering change in the context of your individual existence, or in the context of a larger group.  Change is hard, for these and many other reasons.

Another reason that change is so difficult is because of what it shows us about the present… our current state of life.  T.J. Addington said it well in his blog this week…

…we lack the courage to name our current reality in honest, candid, stark terms which would create a crisis among thinking people. In not naming the true nature of the threat we allow ourselves and others to minimize the need for change.

In short: we don’t want to admit that was is, is not what should be.

Somehow that admission makes us feel bad, like we’ve failed, like we might have sinned, like we might have missed something.  The funny thing (and yes, it is really, REALLY funny if you stop to think about it) is that all of those things are true of us, most of the time. So why are we so afraid to admit it?

Because it hurts our pride.  It shows us that we are not enough.  We are not adequate.  Nothing in us is capable of living life as life should be lived.  We are sinners in need of a Savior.

Isn’t it neat/interesting/disturbing/thought-provoking/powerful that God orchestrates our lives in such a way that they again, and again, and again teach us that lesson?  He loves us that much.  He’s willing to tear the foolish, inadequate treasures from our hearts so that we can see our need for His love and grace – and receive it to the eternal benefit of our souls.

What fleshly treasures have you accumulated inside?  How have you learned to battle it?

REALLY listening to the Golden Rule

So many things in our world are taken directly from the Bible… and sadly, many people don’t even recognize it.  What we’ve come to call the “Golden Rule” originally came straight from Jesus’ mouth.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Modern translation: treat other people the way you want other people to treat you.  And let’s not kid ourselves… every one of us wants to be treated well by other people.  Kind, considerate treatment tells us we are loved, that we matter, that the other person values us.

I just read through Matthew 7 (where the passage is found), pondering each phrase.  When I came upon this particular statement, my tendency was to kind of “breeze by” it, because I’ve heard it so many times before.  But something in me caught, and wouldn’t let me move ahead.  There is importance here.  There is power here.  I had to linger.

The Golden Rule is a short, powerful statement of what it means to love people.  Leave it to Jesus (and only Jesus) to be able to make this kind of statement.  It’s a mantra that informs every conversation, every situation, every decision… if I will let it.  There are so many applications…

  • Would I have let those short words slip out if I were mindful of the Golden Rule?
  • Would I have said things in the WAY that I did, if I were mindful of the Golden Rule?
  • Would I have made the same decision if I were mindful of the Golden Rule?

And while all of those are very valid ways of looking at the passage, I have to stop and remember that it’s in my nature to make it into a “new law” if I’m not careful.  I like guidelines, rules, principles, etc.  I like to have something clear and concrete that I can look at, compare my actions to, and hopefully feel good about myself as a result.  But that’s not the purpose of the Golden Rule.

Jesus’ purpose in saying this (and the entire sermon on the mount – Matthew 5-7), is to show us how incapable we are of doing the things that are required to please God.  None of us is able to live by the Golden Rule consistently.  How do I know?  Because none of us do.  If we could, we would.

It’s not that Jesus is a kill-joy, or the ultimate cosmic criticizer – no, He’s loving us enough to show us the reality of our need… and we need Him if we are to have any hope of being who we are to be, and who we are to become.

I need Jesus before I need to follow the Golden Rule.  You do too.

What is your take on the Golden Rule?  How do its words strike you?

Have you thought about your own death lately?

I have… a lot.

In the past 5 months I’ve presided over 3 funerals.  One was a suicide.  One was a cancer-related death after years of fighting the horrid disease.  One was a drowning.  All three were heart-breaking and sobering.

The Puritan pastor Jonathan Edwards resolved to think of his own death often… and I think that’s a healthy thing to do too.

Pondering the end of my own life gives me perspective, and a reality check:

  • Has my life been lived well?  Have I stewarded it for the sake of Christ?
  • Have I shown my children and wife and friends an example of what a humble heart and a powerful God can do?
  • Am I truly ready to meet my Maker?

I’m not fearful about my own death… I know that Christ has overcome death and that I have an eternal home in heaven.  But the reality that has been impressed on me lately is this… it could be my turn soon.

Tonight in my sleep.  Tomorrow on the road.  Sitting at my desk.  Talking to my wife.

My death could come at any moment.  So could yours.  In light of that reality, I ask the LORD to empower me to make the most of every day that I do have… for His glory.  I don’t want my life to be wasted in any sense.

Delegate or die… a lesson hard learned

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve been in Pastoral ministry for 20 years now, and with the exception of my first two roles (Jr. high youth guy, and Associate Pastor), all that time I’ve been in fairly small churches (150 tops).  Being the “solo” guy has its ups and downs, and one of those is the many hats or responsibility that come with the turf.  Most guys in the “solo” role are pretty competent, and like me, they just knuckle down and do what needs to be done.  But what naturally happens in that scenario is at least these three things:

  1. All that minutia eventually becomes more than you can reasonably handle… and you’ll DIE.
  2. You deny people in your church family the opportunities for significant involvement they truly need.
  3. You wind up being distracted from the truly important things that are only yours to do.

My story

I carried on like a “good” little pastor without delegating much of anything for years.  The funny thing is this: I thought I didn’t have a problem delegating things.  But I did.  Nobody likes to think they have “control” issues, but we all do to some extent.  I was no exception.  I wanted things to be done up to a certain standard, and just didn’t think I’d have the time to train someone new to do things the way I wanted them done.  Dumb… dumb… dumb.

It was in 2011, meeting in our “Healthy Church Network” that a group of us pastors were discussing this issue.  That’s when things flipped for me.  Three guys in the group, Greg, Jim, and Greg (thanks guys) took me to task as I asked some questions about the topic.  They pushed, prodded, pried, and cajoled me into seeing the 3 things above… and I finally got it.

So, I headed home and immediately found some very competent ladies in our church to take over a good deal of the administrative stuff I was doing (thanks again “K” and “M” and “P”!).  It took a while to train them, but it was SO worth it.  They were not only happy to do it, but were also able to take things to another level!  Bonus!

Just recently, while I was gone on sabbatical, our church made the “executive” decision to take all the things I had delegated to people for the duration of my absence, and farm them out on a more permanent basis.  Their logic was ironclad:

If we can do this for 4 months while he’s gone, we can do it, period.  That means he can do other things that are more important for him to do.

I haven’t said it enough since my return from sabbatical, but I have really appreciated that initiative… and do more each day I work at ministry.  My plate is only as full as it needs to be now, rather than overfull.

The best part

There are a lot of “best parts” to this story, but the ones I like the most are these:

  • There are 10 more people in our church family involved in doing significant things toward eternal ends.
  • I’m freed up to do the things I love to do the most – study, preach, leadership development, discipleship, writing.
  • And I don’t feel like my head is swimming… like it used to…

What about YOU?  Do you have trouble delegating?  What things have you found that have made the task of delegating better for you?

Books from the PF Journal..

3 METHODS TO ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS – GUEST POST

Loren Pinilis - www.lifeofasteward.com

I’ve made a new internet “friend!”  His name is Loren Pinilis, and he writes at www.lifeofasteward.com.  His focus is on personal productivity as it relates to life and spiritual stewardship.  His stuff is really good!  Check it out!  The following post is directly from his blog – reprinted in its entirety, with his kind permission!  Enjoy!

THE GOOD, THE BETTER, AND THE BEST WAYS TO FIGHT DISTRACTION

Some days I just seem to get so much done. I’ll fly through eight hours’ worth of work in just five hours.

Then on other days, I feel like I just can’t get anything accomplished. What should take me eight hours ends up taking more than ten.

The crucial factor for me, and I’d imagine for you too, is focus. When I buckle down, concentrate, and ignore distractions, then I can really blast through what I’m doing.

I know people who have transitioned to working from home. When they were away from the distractions of the office, they got their work done in five hours instead of eight. I know when faced with a deadline, I’m often incredibly productive: the pressure forces me to focus.

So focus is important – but how do we get it and keep it?

First Step: Know What Distracts You

Everyone has their own particular distractions to deal with.

Maybe it’s facebook and twitter. Maybe surfing the internet. Playing games? Checking Email? Getting Coffee? Eating? Stopping for too many breaks?

Perhaps it’s daydreaming or just staring at the walls.

For me, it’s often thinking about my next blog post or my next bible lesson that I’m teaching. Those are great things to mull over when I’m driving, showering, or cleaning. But they can be distractions when I need to focus.

Once we know our distractions, how do we eliminate them?

Good: Prevent Distractions from Invading

Do what you need to do to keep distractions from throwing themselves in front of you.

Turn your cell phone off. Shut your door.

Block out a noisy environment by putting on headphones and playing music that helps you focus. I really like noise generators such as www.simplynoise.com. It’s a little jarring at first, but after a while it really gets rid of auditory distractions.

Close down your Email program or turn off auto-check for Email. If an Email pops up, you’re much more likely to dash away on some unimportant Email task.

Close instant message Programs. You can use a software program like Freedom to temporarily turn off your internet connection.

Better: Hide Reminders of Distractions

Once you’ve eliminated distractions that invade your space, get rid of anything in front of you that may lead you down the path of distraction.

If your facebook tab is open and right in front of you, you’re much more likely to waste time clicking around. If twitter is on your favorites bar when you’re trying to do internet research, it’s a constant reminder of some fun, distracting task.

It could be icons on your desktop, empty coffee cups right next to you, or a book that you’re reading that’s right in view. They’re just right there begging you to pay attention to something else for a few moments, to take another “short” break, or to daydream.

There are about a bajillion software applications out there that hide elements of your desktop so that you can focus only on the one task you’re working on.

You can also do the opposite and put task reminders in front of you. For instance, I like tokeep a timer right in my peripheral vision. As it ticks away, it reminds me to get back to work.

Best: Noticing and Tracking Distractions

Here’s the absolute best way to prevent distractions. It sounds difficult, but there’s a simple trick to making it work that I guarantee is incredibly effective.

Be aware of your mental state. It’s not really that difficult to get back to work when you realize you’re incredibly distracted. The tough part is being aware – in the moment – that you’re not focused on the task at hand. We just get chasing these rainbows and forget temporarily.

And here’s the trick for being aware of when you’re distracted: track it. Keep a report of your time usage, paying particular attention to when you’re not focused.

There are automatic time-tracking applications that you can get, but those aren’t worthwhile at all. They can only tell you what your computer usage is – not whether you’re concentrating on the task, going to grab some coffee down the hall, or in your office chair just daydreaming.

Plus, here’s the important part: it’s not the report that matters. It’s the change in your behavior that results from you keeping track of your focus. This is key: the very act of recording your actions will alter your behavior.

If you count your calories at every meal, you’re more likely to eat better. If you track you time usage and make note of distractions, you’re more likely to stay focused.

Try this for a few days: Every time you catch yourself indulging in distractions, make a tally mark on a piece of paper. Every time. You’ll be startled at how often you get distracted. You’ll have a count at the end of the day to drive it home, and you can keep up with your distractions over the coming weeks to monitor improvement.

I know this sounds tough, but it’s really not. You don’t have to keep track of every second of every day.

I love to play card games like Spades, and I can easily keep track of cards that have been laid. I don’t actually keep up with every single card. I’ve been playing for so long that I just know what’s important to keep up with and what I don’t have to worry about. I really only keep track of a few cards at the most.

It’s the same for tracking distractions. After a while, you’ll develop a strong sense for when you’re distracted. Those times will stick out to you. They’ll show up on your radar.

You’ll be very aware of the times that you’re distracted, and that knowledge will be absolutely invaluable. From then on, it’s not too terribly difficult to get back in the zone and get back to work.

What do you struggle with?
Does anyone else have tips for how to fight distraction?

Books from the PF Journal..

Are you an amateur lover?

photo: camdiluv on flickr

One of my favorite bands – Switchfoot – has a great song entitled “Amateur Lovers.”  It’s about the universal human need for love, and that no matter how hard we try to get it or give it – we still come up short.  The chorus says it this way…

We don’t know what we’re doing
We do it again
We’re just amateur lovers
With amateur friends

I believe we need love because God is love (1 John 4:8), and we need God.  The problem with how we go about the whole “love” thing is that we try to milk love out of people, when God is the only adequate source of love for the human heart.

Giving love to others…

When it comes to giving love to others, that’s when I discover that I’m an amateur lover… a wanna-be.  I want to be a “professional” lover, one who knows how to love and does love everyone, but I fall short over and over.

To make it even more convicting: as Christians, love is to be the hallmark of our lives, the identifying characteristic that proves we are indeed followers of our Lord Jesus.

Specifically, we are to love EACH OTHER (translation: other Christians) in a way that shows our unity in Christ.  Look how John says it…

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. – 1 John 3:14

If love is so important, such an identifying mark, how do we improve, grow, and even excel in becoming great lovers of people, especially those who share our common faith in Christ?

It’s simple, but not easy.  ”The fruit of the Spirit is love…” (Galatians 5:22)

What that says to me is that I must learn how to walk in the Spirit of God if I’m going to have any hope of truly loving other people. (Galatians 5:16)

Walking by the Spirit… sounds like a good topic for another blog post…

What have you found helpful in becoming more and more dependent on the Spirit of God to motivate and activate your love for others?

Books from the PF Journal..

A wonderful GTD software tool that has scheduling capabilities! Good-bye Evernote!

I’m so stoked about this!  I can’t believe it – and am so thankful to the Lord.

OK, let me back up a bit.  I recently started learning about and practicing the “Getting Things Done“(affiliate link) time and project management system, and am loving it’s logical, simple way of managing tasks… and life in general.  I started using Evernote (a free software for productivity) at about the same time.  But I was a bit frustrated that Evernote did not have a “deadline” or “scheduling” function, to set dates by which certain tasks had to be completed.

Then today… I found THIS!

Nozbe(affiliate link)

Nozbe is obviously custom-made to be a GTD tool, and it’s well worth the $9.95 a month it costs me to subscribe.  I’ve found it to be much more helpful and functional for GTD than Evernote ever was!  Some of the main things I like about it…

  • It has a scheduling function… to the day, or just for a particular week.  Just what I needed most.
  • It can be connected to Evernote if need be (I’m not sure yet exactly why I’d do this, but time will tell).
  • It can be accessed via all smart phones (I’ll be using this a LOT), through web access or an application.
  • I am able to send tasks/notes to my assigned Nozbe email to place ideas in my “INBOX” (just like I did in Evernote, which was one of the best functions of it, in my opinion).
  • It’s centered around “Projects” AND “Contexts” rather than notes… so I can narrow the view so that I ONLY see the specific contexts or projects that I’m working on at the time.
  • It has a “Next Actions” function to help you get moving on your workload!
  • It’s much easier to set up to fit my preferences than Evernote was (in my humble opinion).
  • It has many of clear, helpful videos to explain the program and help you get started… including a 10 session “Get Things Done” video course! (You better believe that I’m watching every one of these… almost even as I type!)
  • It can be linked to a variety of other web services including… Evernote, Twitter, Jot, Gmail, Google Calendar, myYahoo, iGoogle, and Netvibes!
  • And has a GREAT affiliate program.  Paying subscribers get 20% of every referral – FOR THE LIFE OF THE REFERRED ACCOUNT!  Free users (limited time) get 10% of every referral – for the same lifetime deal.

I feel comfortable referring any busy person – a Pastor, a mom, a business person, etc. – so I am!

Check out the introductory video below… and click HERE to sign up for your own free trial!

Nozbe is simply the best Getting Things Done productivity software I’ve seen – Sign up HERE!

Mercy gone wild… is that a good thing?

Over the past few years I’ve heard a lot of confusion going around about the terms “grace” and “mercy.”  Oh, people don’t say they are confused, but you can hear it in the things they say (and I’m guilty of it too).

One of the most common examples goes like this:  ”I think you should extend grace to him. TRANSLATION: “Go easy on him.  Let him off the hook.”  But that’s not grace, that’s mercy.  If that’s what we mean, we should say, “I think you should be merciful to him.”  And if that’s what we mean, why do we think it’s “right” to give mercy, especially if a real wrong has been done?

Part of it has to do with our culture.  Culturally, we’ve slipped over the precipice of “tolerance” to such a degree that people aren’t willing to say that much of anything is “wrong” or “right.”  Adultery has become an “affair.”  Sin has become “mistakes.”  We’ve gutted our thinking of any real conviction, any lasting moral foundation.  As a result, we all feel like the “right” thing to do is to be merciful.

But mercy left to itself makes a mockery of justice.  Tell a mother whose child has been abducted, raped, and murdered that she is to “be merciful” to her child’s killer and see how that works out for you.  You may be the next murder victim.  Why?  Because something in that mom tells her, justice should be done.

Let’s carry that out as it relates to God.  If God were only merciful (not giving us what we deserve), He’d be nothing but a heavenly softy, and all of us errant “children” (from you to Hitler) would be getting off the hook scott free.  Nothing would ever be corrected, justice would never be done.  All the sin throughout all of history would be swept under the rug and eternally ignored.  Everyone gets amnesty.  There is never any “reckoning.”  In my thinking, that would be “mercy gone wild,” and it wouldn’t be good.

You might feel the revulsion that idea provokes right now.  Wrong needs to be made right, or at least clearly labeled AS wrong and punished as such.   Heinous things as child abuse, extortion, kidnapping, genocide, and rape should never go unanswered.  Neither should what we might consider “lesser” sins – lying, gossip, manipulation, selfishness, lust.  The reason you and I instinctively feel that way is because we are made in God’s image, and God is just.  He must make the wrong right.  He must call the guilty to account.

That means that all of us deserve His judgment.  We have sinned.  We are guilty… and justice must be done.  There is no way around it… EXCEPT for God’s grace.  His grace makes a way when there is no way.  Not by practicing mercy gone wild, but by giving to us when we don’t deserve it.  In Jesus, God gave us a substitute, to take our place beneath the fiery and punitive gaze of His holy judgment.  That is what the cross was all about.  Jesus took our punishment, so we don’t have to be punished.  God gave us grace, so that we could receive mercy, without doing any violence to His just nature.

When we understand the relationship between grace and mercy, we see the giving nature of God more clearly; we see the great lengths to which He has gone to make a way for us to be forgiven for our sins; we see the miraculous gift it is that He’s done even more in giving us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live above sin’s domination.  And when we see all of that, we can revel in the grace of God that brings us the mercy of God.

So here’s how I think of it:

Grace gives – mercy withholds

  • Grace is God giving to us who don’t deserve it
  • Mercy is God withholding the wrath our sins do deserve
  • Grace is God giving us a means of forgiveness in Christ
  • Mercy is God withholding condemnation
  • Grace helps us to obey God, it is empowering
  • Mercy refrains from punishing us because we don’t obey God
  • Grace is receiving something you don’t deserve
  • Mercy is not getting what you do deserve

Join the conversation: How do YOU see grace & mercy being different? 

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