Category: Men specific

Should I do it? – You decide!

The Marriage Improvement ProjectI’m considering a new project here on the blog… and could use your input to help me decide if I should.

I’m thinking about “blogging” my couple’s marriage devotional, “The Marriage Improvement Project” for anyone who would commit to doing it for the sake of their own marriage.  If you don’t know about the MIP, it’s a couple’s devotional study I’ve put together that has helped many couples I’ve counseled.  It’s designed for both spouses to go through together, with some discussion built in.

The way I’d go about it is that I’d post one day’s devotional at a time, at an interval of every other day.

AND I’D BE DOING THIS TOTALLY FREE!

For example:

  • Saturday: I “blog” the “How To Use This Book” chapter
  • Monday: I “blog” the day 1 study
  • Wednesday: I “blog” the day 2 study
  • Friday: I “blog” the day 3 study
  • Sunday: I “blog” the day 4 study
  • Tuesday: etc. – you get the idea… until Day 40 is done.

I’m curious what you think…

Would you do the work of improving YOUR marriage if I posted it?  Talk to your spouse and let me know through the comments below!  If you don’t see it posted at a later date… nobody was interested.

Books from the PF Journal..

Adultery doesn’t “just happen”…

There are tell-tale signs, or better said, small little “erosions” that happen bit by bit that lead to adultery.  They begin in the marriage relationship itself, and then are exaggerated and exploited by things outside the marriage relationship.  And you’d better believe that satan is involved (yes, I know I didn’t capitalize his name… he doesn’t deserve it).

This article, entitled “How an affair begins” is a good reminder for every married couple… read it.

Sexually Abused? Need help? – Free E-BOOK – limited time

photo courtesy of "The Resurgence"

The E-book “Rid of My Disgrace” is free from The Resurgence Store for a limited time (April 2-3, 2012).

Here’s the blurb from the back of the book:

The statistics are jarring. One in four women and one in six men are or will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. But as sobering as the statistics are, they don’t begin to speak to the darkness and grief experienced by these victims. Because sexual assault causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, victims need clear help, hope, and healing. In Rid of My Disgrace, a couple experienced in counseling victims of sexual assault explains how the grace of God can heal the broken and restore the disgraced.

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb outline an approach for moving from destruction to redemption. While avoiding platitudes and shallow theology, Rid of My Disgrace combines biblical and theological depth with up-to-date research. This book is primarily written for those who have been assaulted (either as children or adults) but also equips family, friends, pastors, and others to care for victims in ways that are compassionate, practical, and informed. Part of the Re:Lit series.

Faithfully serve and care for your wife – one example

This is re-posted from Brian Croft’s blog – Practical Shepherding

What does it look like for a Christian man to faithfully serve and care for his wife?

The great Princeton Theologian, B.B Warfield, is known as one of the toughest, boldest, and most biblically faithful American Theologians of the late nineteenth century. Even his typical burly glare in most of his pictures would send a liberal theologian running. Because of this, it may surprise you to read of Warfield’s legendary example in his joyful, sacrificial service to his invalid wife. David Calhoun, in his book on Princeton Seminary, vividly captures this powerful example:

Through all the years of their married life Dr. Warfield faithfully cared for his invalid wife. He guarded, protected, and stood by her while carrying his full teaching load and pursuing demanding writing assignments. The seminary students often noted his gentle and loving care for Mrs. Warfield as they walked together on Princeton streets and, later, back and forth on the porch of their campus home. Finally she was bedridden and saw few people besides her husband. By his own choice Dr. Warfield became almost confined to his house; he was never away from her for more than an hour or two at a time. He set aside time to read to her every day. They left Princeton only once in the ten years before her death, for a vacation that he hoped would help her. With his excellent health and varied interests Dr. Warfield must have felt this restriction, but he never complained.

Despite Warfield’s constant care of his wife, Gresham Machen believed Warfield had done “about as much work as ten ordinary men.” Warfield, like many others, can teach us much about theology, but he may be one of just a few celebrated men of history who by his life example can squash our weak excuses of neglect and challenge us to serve our wives with consistency, sacrifice, and longevity.

The power of a Dad’s worship…

The following is an article I came across last week, and it powerful.  It is written by a Christian man who lost his earthly father in 2010.  I’m quoting the entire article because it’s so powerful to me.  May the example of his father be an example to the rest of us fathers…

Dads… you have GOT to read this!

Dads, Sing Like You Mean It Because Your Kids Are Watching

by STEPHEN ALTROGGE on MARCH 13, 2012

[This was written by a man in my church named Keith McCracken. May we be inspired by the example of Keith's father.]

My father was a wonderfully eccentric man. He was a quick witted recluse and a virtual Picasso of mechanicalia. He worked third shift (11:00PM to 7:00AM) for 37 years (without missing a day or ever being late) so as to avoid having his talents “supervised into obscurity.” To most people outside of his family he was hard to understand and blissfully unconcerned with anyone else’s opinion of him. But despite all of that he was very overt about his faith in, and love for, our Savior Jesus Christ.

Though I hold many cherished memories of him, perhaps the most vivid was his excitement over singing certain hymns. By all accounts he possessed at best an “average” voice when it comes to uniqueness and tonal quality. But he sang his favorites with a conviction that was beyond convincing and was by far one of the loudest and most joyful voices in a congregation of approximately 350. I remember looking up at him and “checking him out” while he was singing… “Is he for real?” I would wonder. When he would catch me looking at him he would simply “lock-eyes” with me and sing all the louder while he broadened his grin to match proportion with his pleasure.

He wouldn’t just sing hymns at church either. I can think of many times when the two of us would be welding up a go-kart frame or swapping an engine on a Saturday afternoon and he would spontaneously break into a hymn. In my teens and early twenties I actually found it annoying given the perplexity of some of the situations we would be deep into. But then again I would eventually come around and sing with him anyway. I just never managed to muster the joy he got out of it. I didn’t think about it then but I can see clearly now that he was blessing me with rich God honoring doctrine. That he was lovingly cramming truth into my psyche that would not return void in my soul.

The now heart-softening aspect of these memories is that I am standing here in my church singing these same time impervious truths in front of my children. I catch them looking up at me and I wonder if I am anywhere near as good an example as he was. I get caught up and overwhelmed when I recognize the blessing that God had granted me in an earthly father. How diligent Dad was to bless me in an eternal way without ever making a point to tell me that he was doing it.

Jack McCracken passed away on March 9th of 2010 from pancreatic cancer. The last day I saw him alive was March 8th. We were alone and I was brutally tired from all that had preceded. He could not speak or even open his eyes but the nurses assured me that he could hear so I just prayed for him and encouraged him to trust in Jesus and look for him to come soon. When my nephew arrived I felt comforted that dad would not be alone and I decided to return to my parents’ house and get some rest. I asked my nephew for just a few moments alone with dad and I grasped his hand firmly, kissed his forehead and said: “You did a fantastic job as my father and I am so glad I got to be your son. Thank you for taking me to church. But more importantly thank you for going to church and being joyful there. Thank you for singing like you meant every word… You have no idea how that still affects me… I love you dad.

I stepped back and whistled a “call” he had taught me when I was very young. It would not have been discernible to anyone in a crowd but it meant “I am right behind you” and “I am coming.” I hugged my nephew and thanked him for coming then drove to my parent’s home. Three hours later I was awakened by a phone call from my nephew telling me that “Grampa was gone.” I slumped back into my chair. I wept bitterly. Then I cried out to God for comfort and without much thought I began singing one of Dads favorite hymns…“Jesus paid it all.” As I was singing I began to hear Dad’s voice singing with me… Not as any kind of haunting specter or communion with the dead kind of thing. Much more like a perfect echo… I began to envision his face and felt like I was a little kid again looking up at him. His grin was broadening and his voice was getting louder. I began to thank God over and over for the gift he had given me in my earthly father and the gift of salvation that he had granted to both dad and I. I just laid on the floor and prayed then cried, then sang then prayed some more. I have no idea how long I spent in that state but I can tell you that God granted me peace through it.

Now almost two years later I am still unable to sing a lot of those “old-Baptist” tunes without experiencing the “echo” of my father. I count it a privilege to sing these rich truths in tribute to the one true God; but I also experience the benefit of knowing I am fulfilling the scriptural command to honor my earthly father as well.

I decided to write this all out first as a means of expressing for myself what is sometimes difficult to verbalize. And secondly as a means of encouragement to the fathers in this church. Please sing like you mean it on Sunday morning. I am not asking you to “fake” anything… but rather embrace the very meaning these songs were written for. Seek to express your joy in your Savior Jesus Christ by singing in response to what he has done for you, and in agreement with the truths imbedded in these songs. Neither am I encouraging you to do this specifically for your children’s benefit but first for yourselves with the added comfort of knowing how much it will affect your children. I am simply encouraging you to worship in spirit and in truth. Sing strong because that is what God wants from you. Trust God to bless your children with the echo

You can find the original article HERE

New Venture… and a fun one!

In the struggle of living in this economy, I too and feeling the pinch.  So… I’m working on a new endeavor to help put food on the table and do some good in people’s lives at the same time.  So, I give you… “Real Men T-shirts”

You can find the store HERE

Examples of the kind of stuff I’m doing (so far) are below…

 

Women have to submit? One woman’s battle with the Bible

I’m finishing up a time of rest (sabbatical)
so I’ve pre-scheduled this post for your encouragement!

One of the blogs I subscribe to is the “gender blog”  from the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.   Recently there was a great series of posts from one Christian woman about her struggle to understand and appreciate the Bible’s teaching on the dreaded “S” word – submission.  I thought you might like to read it…

You can find it HERE

The modern-day BOYMAN… do you know this guy?

I’m taking a break from life (sabbatical), so this is a
pre-scheduled post.  Enjoy!

Mark Driscoll often refers to this guys as “a boy who can shave.”  It’s the guy who’s stuck in a prolonged adolescence and most of the baggage that goes with it.

And  he’s a very serious issue for the church.  Very serious.

Darrin Patrick writes:

We live in a world full of males who have prolonged their adolescence. They are neither boys nor men. They live, suspended as it were, between childhood and adulthood, between growing up and being grown-ups. Let’s call this kind of male Ban, a hybrid of both boy and man.

Ban is juvenile because there has been an entire niche created for him to live in the lusts of youth. The accompanying culture not only tolerates this behavior but encourages it and endorses it. (Consider magazines like Maxim or movies like Wedding Crashers.) This kind of male is everywhere, including the church and even, frighteningly, vocational ministry. . . .

In a culture where the influence of godly men is desperately needed, this void results in a legitimate cultural crisis. We are not going to solve it by ignoring Ban and hoping that he eventually grows up. We are not going to solve the problem simply telling women that they should take up the slack.

We might solve the problem by modeling biblical manhood and calling adult boys to forsake their youthful lusts and become the men that God is calling them to be in the context of the local church. This call should come from godly men and women sitting in the pews and, specifically, from the pulpit of God’s church. The models should be men of God.

Church Planter: The Man, the Message, the Mission, (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010), 9-12, paragraphing mine.

Do you know this BOYMAN?  Pray that Jesus, the real man’s man will get a hold of him and make him into what men are SUPPOSED to be…

Affordable Christmas Gift for Christian Couples

Just a suggestion… “The Marriage Improvement Project” would make a great Christmas gift (one that really matters) for the couple in your life who could use some help understanding God’s design for marriage.  E-book copies are free, and hard-copy is very affordable with discounts for multiple copies.  You can find it at the “RESOURCE” page at the top of this blog!

The Marriage Improvement Project – BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!!

A bit ahead of schedule,

the Marriage Improvement Project has gone to print!

It’s available for purchase (hard-copy) and FREE download (E-book pdf).

This book is a hands-on, “get ‘er done” type of book… walking married couples through some of the foundational biblical truths upon which marriage is built!  It is designed for couples to work through together, so two copies of the book are suggested!  At a discounted price for two, anyone can afford this helpful, marriage-building resource!

Here’s the blurb from the back cover…

IS IT TIME FOR A MARRIAGE IMPROVEMENT PROJECT?
Marriage was created by God to be a wonderful blessing, to every married couple and to the watching world… but time, sin, and our culture can make keeping your marriage in good repair difficult at best. In The Marriage Improvement Project (MIP), Pastor Carey Green draws on the word of God, his own marriage, and years of pastoral and marriage counseling to teach some of the foundational truths of how God intends marriage to be. The MIP is designed for spouses to complete separately (separate copies are helpful), with team projects to work on periodically together. In the MIP, you’ll explore…

  • Marriage First
  • The Cleaving Principle
  • The Unity Principle
  • Communication is Key
  • Attacking Anger
  • The Wife’s Role
  • The Husband’s Role
  • The Principle of Sexual Sanity

You can order copies for yourself, or download the free E-book version by going to the FREE RESOURCES – GROWTH RESOURCES tab at the top of the page!

And please… help me get the word out about this resource!