Tagged: Christian marriage
The Marriage Improvement Project – NEW BOOK – Now taking pre-orders!
It’s getting close! The Marriage Improvement Project is almost ready! Here’s the blurb from the back of the book…
Marriage was created by God to be a wonderful blessing, to every married couple and to the watching world… but time, sin, and our culture can make keeping your marriage in good repair difficult at best. In The Marriage Improvement Project (MIP), Pastor Carey Green draws on the word of God, his own marriage, and years of pastoral and marriage counseling to teach some of the foundational truths of how God intends marriage to be. The MIP is designed for spouses to complete separately (separate copies are helpful), with team projects to work on periodically together. In the MIP, you’ll explore…
- Marriage First
- The Unity Principle
- The Cleaving Principle
- Communication is Key
- Attacking Anger
- The Wife’s Role
- The Husband’s Role
- The Principle of Sexual Sanity
I’m very excited about this book. It’s been a very long time in the making, and came out of my own need for a helpful resource to use in my ministry in counseling couples regarding their marriage. My plan is to make the E-book version a free download (available by October 1, 2011), and the hard-copy book available for a cost (just to cover the printing and shipping costs, plus a small additional profit per book). At $9.00 for one and $16.00 for two (it’s designed for each partner in the marriage to have their own copy), it’s WAY cheaper than most books of this nature and size (243 pages).
Pre-orders are now being taken… you can find out about that on my Free Resources – Growth Resources page.
Please pray that the Lord will use this book to bring about a better representation of His love for people, through the marriage OF His people! And pass the word along to those you think may benefit from this resource! I’d love to give away 1000 copies by the end of the 2011 year!
How to Honor Your Wife – Hard-hitting article from Mark Driscoll
Many of you know of Mark Driscoll, Pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. He doesn’t have a problem in speaking his mind… and being faithful to the word of God.
This article is taken from a sermon he presented at his church where he truly rips men… and deservedly so. It rocked the men at Point Man when I showed it to them. It’s an “if the shoe fits, wear it” sort of sermon, so be ready to wisely apply it to your own life.
If you go to www.marshillchurch.org you can search for the video/audio of the sermon. MUCH better in terms of impact, and well worth your time.
Get ready to cringe about your own sinfulness toward your wife, men. No joking.
“Women… I’ll never understand them…” – is that REALLY true?
Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way… since they are heirs with you of the grace of life…
1 Peter 3:7
In my married life, the Lord has faithfully used this passage in a variety of ways. Some that pop up right off the top of my head are…
- It points out that my tendency as a man is to NOT understand my wife.
- I am to really “live” with her… not just exist in the same household together, however harmonious that may be.
- It points out her value, a fellow-heir of the grace of life… and shows me that I am to keep that in mind as I relate to her and speak to her.
- It encourages me to be a “student” of my wife… to learn about her SO THAT I can understand her better and therefore live with her in an understanding way. That includes seeking to understand her as a woman, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, as a parent, as a friend, as a sister/daughter in her family of origin, as a wounded individual (as we all are)… the list of areas where I could seek to better understand her is endless.
And that’s just the ones that come right off the top of my head!
Along these lines, here’s a helpful, thought-provoking article from www.theresurgence.org on the same subject. Enjoy!
Sermon: The Woman: Intelligent, Willing Helper – #8 in the series
Our latest sermon audio is on-line now: The Woman: Intelligent Willing Helper. This is #8 in our series, “Male and Female He Created Them.” Audio quality is not the best, but it should do…
Sermon Audio: The Man: Christ-like, Servant Leader
Our latest sermon in our “Male and Female He Created Them” series is now on-line. You can find the sermon on the Sermon page of our church website www.ccleadville.org
“Male & Female in the Christian Marriage” – sermon audio
The latest installment (#6) in Community Church’s 10-part series “Male & Female He Created Them” is now available on-line. You can find it here.
It’s NOT about headship and submission
The discussion in evangelical circles regarding marriage typically centers around the same age-old words that most people seem to enjoy debating. Submission VS Headship.
First of all, there’s a danger in pitting the two against each other when the Bible NEVER takes that position. But I think an equal danger is to become so embroiled in those terms and the contentious definitions given from both sides of the argument, that we miss the REAL issue behind it all… which is something that very few people seem to be talking about.
WHY? – Why did God create marriage in the first place? What is it’s purpose? If we understand this then it makes our attempts at defining the things within marriage (submission and headship) much more effective. So, let’s take short journey to Ephesians chapter 5.
Paul writes,
21 -Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Paul begins with the basic instructions, which really aren’t so basic. In fact, God used this passage early on in my marriage to revolutionize my approach to being a husband. It’s very helpful to work through this passage slowly and let the Holy Spirit apply it to a humble, non-defensive, non-sexist heart. Forget what’s “fair” or “right” or “emancipated” from our culture’s perspective and understand the substance of what Paul is saying.
But the greater point I want to make is this one… it’s found in verse 32
This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.
When the New Testament speaks of a “mystery” it’s referring to something that was previously unknown (at least partially) but NOW, because of Christ, is made clear. From the time of Adam and Eve until Christ, marriage was just marriage – for procreation, for completion of each of the partners, for social reasons, etc. But NOW that Christ has come, we are told a fuller meaning!
God intends for Christian marriage – the way a Christian husband loves his wife and the way a Christian wife respects and submits to her husband’s servant-leadership – to DEMONSTRATE what Christ’s relationship with His church is like! That’s the “why” behind the institution of Christian marriage. To me, that puts an entirely new spin on things…
- It’s no longer about “equality” or “fairness” – its about being an accurate representation of how the relationship between Christ and the church are supposed to be.
- It no longer has anything to do with capability, gender, or “rights.” It now has to do with my desire as a husband (or wife if that’s the case) to submit to God’s plan for showing off His love for the people of earth.
- Marriage, like so many other things (rainbow, communion, sacrifices, baptism) is intended to be a living symbol – a real-life presentation to a dying and lost world of how Jesus cares for His bride, the church.
When we get this idea ground into our thinking, it makes all the difference in the world to how we approach issues such as submission and headship. We can begin to see that God, in His tremendous grace, is allowing us to be a part of reaching those in the world whom He loves. He’s allowing us to live out, sacrificial as it may be in some cases, a demonstration of that love. We should be HONORED. We should be HAPPY to play a role in that by life-ing out our roles in marriage as He’s prescribed them to be! Why? Because THAT is one way the world will recognize HIS LOVE FOR THEM!
The Christian calling in general, but also as it relates to marriage, is not about equality or societal ideas of fairness, or any other such worldly nonsense! The Christian calling is about sacrifice for the sake of others! The Christian calling is about me giving up my rights (like Christ did – check Philippians 2) and doing WHATEVER IS NEEDED to hold forth the word of life, the gospel, the love of God, the demonstration of that love in real-life terms! THAT is what Christian marriage is supposed to be about!
Forget about the debate over headship VS submission. Begin to think through the idea of “giving your life” so that others can HAVE life! Marital roles, as defined in scripture, are part of that life-giving!
